School Snacks

I BET you think this is going be one of those UBER creative posts about lots of cool snack ideas for kid lunches this year....right?  WRONG!  I am going to choose to imagine you are all planning to send your kids to school with some nutritious, or at least what most of us BELIEVE to be nutritious, fully appetizing pintrest worthy delicacies.  In my house, I tend to be boring...and I have been scouring a few sites gathering ideas just like you.  Cheese sticks, wraps, carrot sticks, and bananas go to school here.  But this post is not about that.  It is about what NOT to send.

Walking through our local base exchange (for those non-military peeps, think Target....but not Target) I turned past the Halloween candy (yes...already) and came upon THIS sign -

So let me ask you...do people REALLY send this as a school snack?  I know, I know...not everyone is getting on board with me getting all healthy and aware.  But seriously, even before I decided to become EDUCATED about what I was feeding myself and my family I wouldn't have considered KitKat and Whoppers as appropriate school snacks!

Is it any wonder that children do not have focus in school or are fidgety? Do we really need to wonder why the kids are yawning after lunch?  How many kids are failing classes simply because they do not have proper nutrition?  Don't get me started on school lunches - blech.  This snack sign sickened me.  And made me sad.  Angry.  Frustrated.  Confused.  But most of all, it left me feeling a deep desire to help educate - to help encourage, to spur people on towards health.  It made me realize that maybe at the root of it, people are just simply overwhelmed.

As I have been watching documentary after documentary, reading articles, labels, and reports, I myself have become a little TOO on top of what I am eating.  And I have had to come to terms with doing enough.  Small changes over time can be enough.  You don't have to do it ALL or NOTHING.  So for any of you who may SEE all the information but feel overwhelmed at where to start, let me say...just START.  Have you been inundated with all the info of what to eat that you feel like it is a losing battle so you might as well not try?  Don't be fooled, it is only overwhelming if you try to do it all at once.  Start with ONE thing.  

Here is a list of ideas....

Ditch the juice boxes and use water bottles

Find a fresh fruit or veggie that every person in your family likes and cut some up every day to share as a family

Say goodbye to the sugary cereal every other day and try other things - homemade healthy muffins, yogurt, smoothies, eggs/toast...something besides Fruit Loops.

Start eating breakfast every day

Use smaller dinner plates

Ditch the white rice

Ditch the plain white bread

Buy farm fresh eggs

Read a label every day

Watch a food documentary

Skip fast food and have homemade burgers instead

Choose leaner meats

Choose fresh fish over frozen

Have a salad - every day

Bake, don't fry

There are MANY MANY more...and so many blogs about it I could go one for days - you get the point, choose ONE change to incorporate that will start the wheels of HEALTH for your family.

And my favorite recommendation of where to start - do NOT buy CANDY as back to school snacks.  God gave us all brains and we are meant to use them...educate yourself and take action.  Only YOU are responsible for your health...do not feel overwhelmed to the point of doing nothing - do ONE thing.  And then another.  And then another.  And before you know it, you will be discussing with me organic produce and growing your own cow ;-)

A New Military Indeed

The following account happened recently, though not today - I waited, and prayed, and at the urging of my husband I allowed a sense of grace before posting this.  It has been slightly edited from its original version.  Now I release to you.  Please share if you think someone in your circle could benefit from hearing it, someone that needs a word of encouragement that there are people who can relate.

Previously....

I am Disappointed.  Shocked.  Hurt.  And Angry.

As many of you know, my husband is away.  I am a working mom to 3 active boys, juggling it all and doing the best I can.  Most of you can relate.

Today, I met with a client at a local coffee shop.  My teen was at a movie with a friend so I had my 2 and 5 year old with me.  My kids were patient for the first few minutes as they gobbled up their bakery treats, and then my 2 year old began to act like...well, a two year old.  I took him out of the high chair because, in my experience, when a kid really wants out of that chair it becomes more of a hazard than a help.  For the next 15 minutes I played a "chase him down, distract him" game - you see, this one is my runner.  And I generally have a stroller to contain him.  But not today - the stroller was out on the front walk of my house and got soaked in an early morning rain storm.  So today, I was simply doing the best I could to keep him safe, carry on a meeting as well as possible, and then head home where he could run free out back.

Now to paint the picture, let me lay it out for you...this bakery is located directly under a pediatrics office.  At the time we were there, there was only one other table of people in the bakery, with 2 men sitting there.  It was hot and the doors are full length doors and were opened.  Both of my littles came and sat next to us and would "read" newspapers for a couple of minutes, and would then run amuck, to the point that my 2 year old would escape through the big doors and I would have to go get him and bring him back inside from the sidewalk.

After about 15 minutes, I told my precious little toddler to "come back closer to mommy or I will have to buckle you in the high chair."  And following that I hear, "Maybe you should."

Now, I should point out that I am in Germany and this was said in perfect English.  It was easy to assume these people were American and quite probably connected to the military.  So I was a little taken back, because SURELY military members would not be so rude and arrogant.

The conversation that ensued was disheartening to say the least.

I walked around the corner and proceeded to say, "Excuse me?"

"I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to him," he says. (Pointing to the other man at the table)

"Are you kidding me?  You CLEARLY said that directed at me, otherwise you would have used different words.  He is a two year old acting like a 2 year old."

He then says, "We were just talking about how great these German places are and then undisciplined American kids come and ruin it."

To which I reply," I am sorry if you are bothered here, my husband is away and I am simply doing the best I can.  You know, you could be helpful instead of hurtful."

He then says, "You know they have child care and kindergartens available to you.  Maybe you shouldn't have them here if you can't control them."

"You don't have children, do you?"

"Yes I do," he replies.

"Seriously?  And I suppose your children sit and obey and have perfect attitudes at all times?"  He nodded.

"Sir, can I ask, what is your name?"  He responds with "I don't think I will tell you that."

Hmmm.  "Ok, so you are willing to treat me this way and say what you have said, and if you feel so justified and proud of yourself then why not back it up with your name?"  He then tells me, but refuses to spell it when I ask.

He asks why I want the information, and I tell him to share with my spouse, because I feel my husband would like to know just how un-supportive he is being of a military spouse.  He then turns and says,  "Well, my spouse is right here, let's see how he feels about it."  Speaking to the man seated with him, "are you bothered by this poor behavior, is this disrupting you?"  Of course his "wife" (his own reference of the man with him) stays quiet and has nothing to interject.

The lady I was meeting with came over and told him how inappropriate he was being.  Another customer approached the bakery counter and chatted with the lady working there.  She then came over to me and stated, "They have no problem with your kids so please don't pay attention to this man or his opinions."  The bakery employee then brought over a pretzel for my kids to split - my kids, who had in fact calmed down to watch this nonsense.  (I will be taking a thank you gift to the gracious employee.)

This man then asked for my name, which I not only gave but I even spelled it when he asked me to.  I am proud to be the wife of my husband - proud of that name.  Proud of the integrity by which I live.  And proud to be a mother who stands up for her children.  I don't care what title goes with your name, when you speak poorly of someone's children you bring out MAMA BEAR.

And let's talk about that title for a moment.  A Colonel in the USAF should know better.  Should lead better.  Should be a man people look up to.  A LEADER is generally someone who cares about people.  Clearly, this man does not.  A LEADER is a person who chooses his words wisely because they have been trained and seasoned to do so.  Clearly, this man does not.  A LEADER is a man who should embody the traits of honor and respect.  Clearly, this man does not.  I am embarrassed on behalf of the USAF that this man has obtained a rank that is generally associated with leadership.  I am disappointed in the blatant lack of understanding and sensitivity for a family of a service member.  

Let me point out, I am not justifying my son's behavior.  Yes, he was not "behaving."  So what?  I would NEVER tell someone that they should leave an establishment because their child is being crazy.  I DO offer to help out.  I DO often play peek-a-boo or offer a toy to distract when I can see a kid pushing limits.  I DO offer up snacks or treats (with mom's permission) to help refocus kids who are acting out.  It is appalling to me to be treated this way by not only a member of the military, but one that is in a position of authority at that!

I am left wondering, would this have played out this way if my husband were here?  Would he have been a rude JERK to him?  I am a strong woman, fully capable of taking what he said in stride, reporting it to the right people, praying for his heart to changed by Jesus...but what if I were not?  What if, imagine with me, what if I were a brand new military wife?  What if I had never been away from home, was new to overseas living?  I can only imagine how BROKEN I would feel after such a display of arrogance.

This sickens me on behalf of all those spouses, the ones who would never speak up, are uncomfortable or too afraid - the ones who would shrink away in embarrassment, feeling as though he somehow were right all because of his title.  It is for them that I speak up and bring awareness to this situation.  I speak up on behalf of all military spouses, I am here to tell you, he was NOT right.  So listen to me spouses...when your kids are screaming, and running away, and make you want to pull your hair out, just breathe.  Show mercy and grace, and understand they are only kids.  And more than likely they are tired, or lonely, or distraught over your husband being gone - trust me, a 2 year old can experience the stress of daddy being gone.  Just because they can't voice it in a conversation, their actions are sometimes simple ways to show they are stressed.  And it is ok.  Most of US have your back.  There will generally be someone who will show up to help you.  Most of US have been there...clearly the man from today has NOT.


Today, I watched an openly gay man in a position of power flaunt his disdain for children.  I engaged in a conversation that should never have taken place.  We as people should care for one another and be there to help when the time arises.  The military has changed a lot in recent years and this was one more example of that.  Priorities have shifted, rules have changed, and common morality has declined.  It is a new military indeed.  Pray.  I know of no other answer...just pray.  

In closing, I would like to take a moment to say THANK YOU.  Thank you to those military leaders who DO lead with integrity, it does not go unnoticed.  Thank you to those families working abroad who DO support each other, it does not go unnoticed.  Thank you to the community that really "gets it" and shows appreciation for the sacrifices military families make, it does not go unnoticed.  And thank you to my CHILDREN, for keeping me soft and tenderhearted in a world that contains people such as this man.      

His Heart for Others...

Sweetness.  Pure sweetness.  Do you SEE this face?  For those who know, this is my sweet Asher.  He is the child God gave me in order to grow me.  He tests my patience daily.  His strength is unmatched by normal 5 year olds.  This is not to say he is a difficult child, he is just a child who tends to think and behave "outside the box."  But this child has always had a sweet heart and ever since he could talk he would say sweet things that make me catch my breath. 

Having a deployed spouse is hard...but I can't help but think it is harder to have a deployed daddy.  Skype is a blessing, even with the frustrations of missed calls and dropped calls, delayed voice, frozen screens...it is a blessing nonetheless because it allows us to SEE him.  And in that brief moment we FEEL him.  

So, a couple of days ago when we got on Skype the first thing we noticed was that the love of my life had no hair.  NO HAIR!  So, when we inquired about the baldness, he said it was to support a fellow firefighter going through cancer.  Anyone who knows my family would understand, this is a no brainer for us.  Of course he shaved his head.  And he can ROCK a bald head, let me tell you.  

Asher and I had a good discussion about cancer and how the medicine can make a person's hair fall out.  He brought up Mr. Rob (too long for details here, a whole nother blog for sure) and remembered that about the hair. He went and put on his Remember Rob bracelet and came back.  He asked why daddy shaved his head - and I told him that when we care about people sometimes we do things to show that we care.  So daddy's bald head was a way to say to that guy, "Hey man, I care about you."

And then came those sweet little words that stopped me in my coffee making tracks.  "Mom, I want to shave my head too.  Because I care about daddy, and I care about that guy."  And of course I said, "Ok."  How else do you respond to that?  I mean, how do you say no to THAT?  Sweetest sentiment ever, with zero hesitation.  I asked, "What if you don't like it?"  He said..."I won't know until I try it.  And it'll grow back anyway."

So now a few words about this full head of hair.  When Asher was born, I noticed he was blessed with a nose made for smelling.  And flaring.  And getting things stuck inside of.  Because you see, he simply had a rather large nose.  So in order to offset the largeness of the nose we have kept Asher's hair fairly long.  And he is pretty stinkin cute if I do say so myself.  So, I was a little nervous about how this would look...but I also knew he had pretty well "grown into his nose" for the last couple of years.  And ta-da, I think he looks GREAT with a shaved head.  I did it on a #4 and he asked for me to go more and do it on a #2, crazy kid!    

I think he is handsome with AND without hair, but I am most impressed with his BEAUTIFUL heart of love for others!  I pray this comes as a sense of encouragement to the firefighter in Dover Delaware for whom this was done, and for those everywhere experiencing the effects of chemo.  Feel free to share with someone you think may like to read it :-)

Deanna 

                                                

A Sign of the Times...

Let me start by saying, this is controversial.  And I have friends that run the gamut of possible sides to be on in this particular instance.  And I have been asked specifically for my feelings.  By many.  I typically voice my opinions quietly and then pray.  And only pray.  Rarely do I say something more than once.  And I am sure what I have to say here will upset some people I know well.  Some may even see this as a reason to reject me as a friend/relative.  That's ok.  Because there are some things in life that are simply worth having an opinion on.  The Bible is clear in teaching that it is important to stand up for Jesus and his teachings in all circumstances.  And that is what I intend to do.

My son is a thriving 12 year old with a passion for scouting.  He started as a Wolf scout at 7, and has progressed up the ranks to Life scout at only 12.  He has been preparing for his Eagle scout project since before he crossed over from Cub Scouts into Boy Scouts.  We are a scouting family.  My 4 year old is currently wearing a Tiger cub tshirt that was handed down to us by my best friend (whom I happen to have met through scouting).  But if the proposed changes occur our scouting life may come to an end.   

The Boy Scouts of America is a good company with a good mission.  And we have enjoyed our time in a morally strong activity.  Something that supports the same fundamentals we live as Christians.  Don't get me wrong, there are non-Christians in the BSA.  But we all adhere to the same scout oath and scout law, and for that I have always been grateful.  You see, I can accept that there are people in this world who choose not to follow Christ.  I pray for them, not excluding them, but rather hoping that one day they will choose LIFE over darkness.  And up until now scouting has been a safe zone -a place where I felt the ideals supported what my family believes and practices in our daily lives.  The scout oath is this... "On my honor I will do my best To do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; To help other people at all times; To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight."  And there are decisions on the table that simply will not support the morally straight piece of this oath.  (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)
 
Here is a media release statement from the BSA - 

MEDIA STATEMENT 

Boy Scouts of America  Monday, Jan. 28, 2013 Attributable to: Deron Smith, Director of Public Relations 

“For more than 100 years, Scouting’s focus has been on working together to deliver the nation’s foremost youth program of character development and values-based leadership training. Scouting has always been in an ongoing dialogue with the Scouting family to determine what is in the best interest of the organization and the young people we serve.
“Currently, the BSA is discussing potentially removing the national membership restriction regarding sexual orientation. This would mean there would no longer be any national policy regarding sexual orientation, and the chartered organizations that oversee and deliver Scouting would accept membership and select leaders consistent with each organization’s mission, principles, or religious beliefs. BSA members and parents would be able to choose a local unit that best meets the needs of their families.  
“The policy change under discussion would allow the religious, civic, or educational organizations that oversee and deliver Scouting to determine how to address this issue. The Boy Scouts would not, under any circumstances, dictate a position to units, members, or parents. Under this proposed policy, the BSA would not require any chartered organization to act in ways inconsistent with that organization’s mission, principles, or religious beliefs.”   

As a Christian I will tell you that Biblical truth states homosexuality as a sinful choice.  Not something someone is born into.  Not something beyond control.  It is a choice that comes from having a sinful lustful nature.  We all make choices everyday.  And it baffles me how this choice was ever labeled as "decided from birth."  Are you kidding me?  I am NOT saying that their dna structure has nothing to do with it.  Every person is born with desires for one thing over another.  It is called temptation.  But choosing sexual relations with someone of the same sex is not morally straight.  I have gay friends, always have.  They know what I believe.  And I pray for them.  I pray they repent to Christ and begin anew to live the life they were intended to live.



As a last caveat that will irk some of you, did you know the President of the US serves as the honorary BSA president during his term?  Meaning President Obama is in "charge" per say.  No WONDER this change comes now.  For all of you who believe the President to be a Christian man, let me challenge you to take his ideals and check them Biblically.  There has been a moral decline in our nation for a long time, and I can only say that it seems to be picking up speed faster than ever before.  Unfortunately, I believe we are now a country of more restrictions and guidelines than freedoms.  The Boy Scouts of America is under a Congressional charter which keeps them free to function independently.  So, WHY, therefore can people not leave them alone.  WHY must everything in our country "accept" the GLBT agenda?  Why can they not go form their own all-inclusive group that is similar in activities?  In our country of so many freedoms, why can the BSA not choose to run things the way they want to?

When I was in college I saw many different scholarships available...some for African Americans, some for Hispanics, some for certain income brackets, some for people with a military background, and yes even some religious ones.  And the reason there were options was because we are all different and identify with certain things that others do not.  So why is that not the case here?  Why is it that if the BSA chooses to function under guidelines that exclude some people from participating, they are called "behind the times" when in fact they are trying to hold onto some type of freedom in our seemingly freedom-less America?

Like I said, some of you may be upset.  Some of you may agree.  Some of you who do agree will stay silent, because you too want to avoid the controversy.  The disagreement.  That's ok.  I could not keep quiet on this one.  I pray that my message is construed correctly - I do NOT hate gay people.  I also do not believe the BSA should have to change the way it operates just to please those who don't follow its guidelines.  And, unfortunately, I do not want my boys in positions of being "led" by people that are not in sync with the moral guidelines I have taught them.  Young men are impressionable.  So, if the decision on this goes the way I suspect it will, my younger sons will learn their love of the outdoors through our own in-home "scouting" program.  I believe this is one more sign of the end times - the moral decline of our nation.

The BSA is taking phone calls and emails to vote on this possible change in policy.  Call 972-580-2330 to vote either FOR or AGAINST the change in policy. If you can't get through email nationalsupportcenter@scouting.org.  There are more than 1 million members of the BSA, I pray each and every one of them votes.  Feel free to share this post to encourage people to vote.   

One last thought...why on earth would people fight so hard to get INTO a program that goes against their way of life?  I cannot imagine ever fighting against a pagan organization to make it become Christian so that I could take part.  I simply would not be in it - why can't people do that in this case, and leave the BSA alone to do as it chooses?

  

I love Veggie Tales!

I let my son stay up late...to watch Veggie Tales.  That's right, you heard me right.  In our house we don't watch TV or play video games during the week.  Only on weekends.  And did I mention we have no television channels, only dvd movies and video games?  I know, crazy.  BUT, my child LOVES to read.  And he can carry on lengthy discussions that keep me involved in what's going on in his head and heart.  Cable is overrated, and rots the brain.

You may be saying, big deal.  What's the BIG DEAL?  Well, you see my son is 11.  ELEVEN.  And is asking to watch Veggie Tales.  With all the junk he is forced to process - drugs, alcohol, cursing, sex, etc - it makes my heart happy to hear him beg to stay up to watch Veggie Tales after his little brother goes to bed.  On a school night.

So, I let him.  One day he will lose that sweetness that makes him love simple wholesome media.  And when the day comes, I will relish in the memory of his love of Veggie Tales. 

I also love watching him sing along at the top of his lungs to Mandisa and Toby Mac.  Praising Jesus with his whole soul, it is beautiful.  I pray for him to never lose sight of what is important in life.  I pray for God to protect him from the influences of the world that challenge him to turn toward sinfulness.  And I pray those Veggie Tales lessons are buried deep inside his heart for him to remember when he turns from young to old. 

Ahhh, if only they could stay little....

Teach them to HELP...

So there I was.  I had loaded the groceries into my car and was left with a baby in a car seat and a grocery cart.  I saw a bagger lady just finishing up with another customer and as she approached my direction I asked, "Would you mind returning the cart inside for me?"  She looked at me, the baby, and the cart and replied, "I'm only supposed to take in my cart."  And then she walked away.  For a moment I was in disbelief. 

I exhaled, and stood there for a full minute or so contemplating what had just occured.  You see, I never imagined that someone would say no.  I mean, REALLY?  How hard is it to push a grocery cart inside when you are already headed that way.  So, I started to take the car seat out of the car and a random guy from across the lot approached and said, "I'll take that for you."  Even from far away he was able to figure out what had transpired and was gentleman enough to help.  Thank you kind stranger.

You see, there was a time when that sort of behavior was normal.  And NOT just on the part of men.  Women also knew how to HELP people out.  Back then, people were eager to open doors for each other, or assist with moving, or even to give rides to work.  And now if you need help people look at you as if you are a nuisance.  In that moment in the grocery store parking lot I was reminded of a similar incident not long ago as well...

Donating to the thrift store is part of a run I make every week or two and has been for as long as I remember.  When I was about 8 months pregnant I arrived at the thrift store to discover I could not carry one bag and one box.  They were not especially heavy, just bulky.  And I had reached the point in pregnancy when I could only wrap my arms so far around certain objects.  So I went inside thinking one of the volunteers could help me out.  But there I was told, "Due to insurance reasons we are not allowed to assist with anyone's donations."  Again, REALLY?  They didn't even ask if what I had was heavy.  They didn't even ask what it was.  Because I am sure that carrying a garbage bag of kid's clothing would have cause some major incident that would be insurance worthy.  Unbelievable.

Have we really reached the point where helping our fellow man has become a matter of insurance policies?  Maybe it is because I was raised in the South, maybe it is because I just naturally help people, or maybe it is because I am married to a gentleman...who knows.  I don't know why this bothers me as much as it does.  All I DO know is that I personally will be doing my part to see that my children do not hesitate to lend a hand.

So parents, I ask you to join me in a crusade to teach our children to be kind to those around them, to realize that no one person is more important than another.  And this is not only for parents of boys, girls can help too :-)  But HOW exactly do we teach them?

By example.  Teach them to open the door for other people by doing so yourself.  And to smile while doing so, as they may never know whose day was brightened by their smile.  Incorporate helpfulness in the household...doing chores together, pitching in to unload the car, working to build something...all of these things can be done as a team, by helping one another.  Don't make the mistake of never needing anyone's help - it will teach your kids that all people should be solely self-reliant.  By raising a generation of people who know how to say YES when someone needs help, and to ask for help themselves, they will be better for it.    

Ok, rant over.  For today ;-)

All the Way Granola

So, I was wearing Jeremiah and talking with a lady about how I was now giving cloth diapers a shot, and a complete stranger pipes in with "Oh, so you are like all the way granola then?"  I had a little chuckle to myself and thought NO.  I am not that mom, the one that does everything all natural.  Or AM I?

The facts:

1.  I wear my baby.  I love snuggling with my baby in a wrap...but wait...I LOVE my stroller too.

2.  I breastfeed.  But wait....I pump so daddy can feed bottles too.  AND I give my baby a pacifier.

3.  I use cloth diapers.  At first I thought I was being frugal, but have decided there is no cost savings - therefore I cloth diaper out of a need to save the planet.  But wait...I slap on a Pampers for nighttime because who am I kidding, I don't do middle of the night changes unless it is poop.

4.  I make hummus.  AND I freshly cut veggies on occassion.  But wait....we also eat (GASP!) McDonald's sometimes...and not just because of the convenience, sometimes I want some hot fresh fries that can only come from there.

5.  I homeschool.  Some of the time.  Or did.  Does part time count?  I love being a part of teaching my children, but wait....I LOVE the alone time I have when they are being taught by others as well.

SO there you have it...all the way granola?  If so, this granola has a lot of nuts and berries mixed in for sure!  

Breastfeeding as a Believer - A Christian Perspective

I generally keep quiet regarding issues unless I truly have an opinion of value.  An opinion that is strong enough for me to feel it can benefit someone else.  And this would be such a time.

I have been blessed with the ability to feed 3 babies via my breasts.  I truly count that as a blessing and I am glad to have had support for breastfeeding in every place where I have lived.  But this blog is not about the actual act of breastfeeding.  It is about breasts.  It is about sin.  It is about discretion.

Don’t get me wrong.  The Bible does say that breastfeeding is comforting as evidenced here in Isaiah 66:10-13 - “Rejoice with Jerusalem and be glad for her, all you who love her; rejoice greatly with her, all you who mourn over her.  For you will nurse and be satisfied at her comforting breasts; you will drink deeply and delight in her overflowing abundance.”  For this is what the LORD says: “I will extend peace to her like a river, and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream; you will nurse and be carried on her arm and dandled on her knees.  As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”  Obviously, Christ views breastfeeding as good.  Again, this is not about breastfeeding, it is about modesty.

Do I breastfeed in public?  Yes.  Do I feel that a woman should ever have to go to a bathroom stall, closet, or other “hidden” area to nurse?  No.  But do I feel comfortable showing my whole breast to the world?  No.  And I will tell you why – because the Bible tells me not to.

So then why does it make me uncomfortable for a woman to pop out her entire breast in a public place?  Because of my son.  It’s funny how children can put a person in check.  My son has opened my eyes to things that never before would have even been a fleeting thought.  Many of you will say that breastfeeding is natural and non-sexual, and I agree.  When a woman feeds her child she is generally not doing it with the intention of causing lustful thoughts in others.  There is indeed nothing about breastfeeding that is sexual.  But there is something sexual about breasts. 

God created Eve to be a help meet to Adam.  In doing so He created us to be pleasing to one another.  It is not by accident that breasts are sexually exciting to men.  That excitement however should be reserved for a husband to have for his wife.  Period.  In the beginning of time breasts would not have caused man to have sinful thoughts, because there was no sin.  But from the Fall of man, nakedness was no longer innocent.  The world we live in today is a world of lust.  Look around you at the millions of people involved in pornography and prostitution in one way or another.  Look at how sexuality is portrayed in magazines, tv, movies, etc.  Do not tell me that the sight of a breast does not conjure up sexual thoughts, specifically to the male gender.  Men are visual.  Anybody with any sense of the two sexes knows this to be true. 

1 John 2:16-  For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.


Consider the calling in Romans 14:13-23 -  ¹³ Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. ¹⁴ I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. ¹⁵ If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. ¹⁶ Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. ¹⁷ For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, ¹⁸ because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.  ¹⁹ Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. ²⁰ Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. ²¹ It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall. ²² So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God.  Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. ²³ But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.


In order to love our neighbor as we are commanded (Matthew 22:38-40) look at verse 15 from above.  If I know that men/boys may see my breast and have anxiety over a desire that may stir, have I not contributed to their feeling of being distressed?  And again, in verse 20, if my breast exposure leads to unclean thoughts am I not partially to blame?

We as Christians are called upon to keep each other in check in Ephesians 4:25 "Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth, each one of you, with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.”  And many women I know do indeed help fellow Christian women to know if their choices in apparel are too revealing or sexy.  But when it comes to breastfeeding women seem so afraid to point out that nakedness is nakedness.  Yes, feeding a baby is completely natural.  And yes, in other cultures women are topless at all times.  I realize it is the norm in some societies that a baby is almost always attached to a breast and there is no modesty involved.  However, I don’t live in that culture.  And our culture has oversexed the female breast to the point that even feeding a baby can be seen by some men as sexual.  Is it right?  No.  Is it fair?  No.  But it doesn’t change the reality of what it is. 

 

I nurse in public often, because my baby needs to eat.  Plain and simple.  I do not always wear a nursing cover.  I do not fear what people will think of me for nursing in public.  And I am sure that somewhere at some point either in the past or future, my entire breast will be seen by someone.  I can only do what I can do – and what I can do is to look around and evaluate my audience.  I can take into account if a hormonal adolescent is (or probably will be) in the immediate area, and can take a moment to ensure modesty that may keep him from sinful thinking.  For we are all accountable to God for not only ourselves, but for the actions we do that cause others to stumble from the path of righteousness.  As a mother of boys, it is important for me to be in tune with God’s desire for their lives.  1 Thessalonians 4:3 says, "It is God's will that you should be sanctified, that you should avoid sexual immorality, that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen who do not know God. God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man, but God who gives you His Holy Spirit."  If I know that this is God’s will, then how can I ignore my own responsibility in guiding young men toward purity?


I will say I am keeping my main point focused on adolescent boys, because I typically think of my son in regards to this issue as we are entering the days of puberty.  I do know that men need to be considered as well.  I would hope that a man who has grown accustomed to his hormones (teenagers have not) and who professes to love the Lord would not be tempted by women other than his wife.  I would hope that he has the ability to simply not “see” the breast in front of him, and would look elsewhere – mature Christians are Biblically led to take every thought captive and to make it obedient to God (2 Corinthians 10:5).  However, Romans 7:21-23 makes it clear that temptation is very much a problem even for a Christian.  “So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.  For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.”  If the apostle Paul struggled with the law of sin then I am sure the Christian men of today do also.  And regarding non-Christian men, I do not want to encourage him in ways that are separating him from a relationship with Christ.  Since I am judged solely by the Lord for my own actions, I can do my part in preventing his stumbling by being modest.  For me, this is also an act of love to my sisters in Christ.  I want others’ marriages to thrive and not be hindered by something I do, even something as “innocent” as breastfeeding.


If you believe that you are judged by God solely on your intentions, and contend that since you don’t intend for others to feel lust by the mere sight of your breasts and therefore their lustful thinking of you is in no way your fault, then I encourage you to examine your heart.  We are to love those around us, and if we care not how our actions affect others then are we truly loving our neighbors?   


This entire blog was prompted when I was told by another breastfeeding mom, “Oh you don’t need to cover up for me.”  It wasn’t for her that I was slipping on the nursing cover – it was for the benefit of the people passing by.


To touch upon the inevitable comments to come –

·         I do believe that God gave us breasts to feed children.

·         This blog is not about whether to breastfeed or not, nor is about what I feel in regards to bottle feeding. (just in case you are wondering, I don’t care whether people choose to breastfeed or bottle feed, just feed your baby!)

·         This blog is not an attack on anyone, nor was it prompted to be written by any person’s behavior in particular.

·         For anyone wanting to give me Biblical insight, please do!  I believe I always have room to grow as a Christian and welcome sound understanding of scripture.

·         I believe we as a society have adopted an attitude of no personal responsibility – everything is someone else’s fault.  I do not believe that is the attitude God wants me to have. 

·         I have friends who run the gamut from extreme modesty in breastfeeding (those who pump at home to feed in bottles in public) to those who bare it all (literally drop their top completely while nursing) – I love you all and do not mean the opinions here as a judgment of you.  I simply felt compelled to share what I feel the Lord placed on my heart.

·         I do my best to nurse my baby with a sense of modesty – however, there have been times when I have not had a cover or when my clothing has not cooperated – I apologize if you have personally seen too much of me.  Generally speaking my child’s head covers me.

·         Breastfeeding mothers - I am not writing this to judge you or to jeopardize a friendship with you.  I am only sharing a viewpoint that I feel God wants me to share.

Now, go feed your baby :-)